Thursday, December 24, 2015

End of 2015 Meme List Thing - December 24, 2015

Away we go! I did this in 2014, 201320122011, and 2010!

1. What did you do in 2015 that you'd never done before?

Pink hair! (I'd had pink-ish hair when I was 20 but not like THIS.)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I really try not to make these, and I didn't really make any last year, but I am hoping to infuse patience into everything I do next year. The biggest thing is to not feel I have to get everything done immediately/early. To say "This isn't due for two weeks, so I will let it go until I am ready." To say "This isn't happening on the timeline I want, but I am going to let it breathe just a little instead of worrying myself to death and making unnecessary updates/calls/changes." To not get an email and panic, run around, and scream - to wait, to let that ride, to sit through it, and then to manage it. It's a daily struggle. 2016 is when I will try to really do this.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Several friends welcomed new babbies this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes. My husband lost his grandmother. And at the end of the year we lost Kristen. #BeRelentless

5. What countries did you visit?

I look forward to traveling again someday. Some folks from the UK did visit us, and all of the grandparents made it here at one time or another to visit the kid.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?

More peace. More writing work. More money. More patience.

7. What date from 2015 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

November 15, maybe - it was a LOT of fun. Every year I realize I can't remember the first half of the year at all - I'm going to work on that.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Holding it together all year.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Didn't read enough books or drive enough. Didn't pitch any articles out of fear.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No, though I had many trips to the women's center for testing. Thankfully, this year all were eventually cleared. Also gum surgery, which was SUPER FUN. (Actually, it wasn't all that bad. Mostly a nuisance.)

11. What was the best thing you bought?

THERATOGS. The Inspiralizer (sold my Paderno to a neighbor). New boots. A GIANT box o'makeup. Nice sheets. A Paperwhite. Also the new car (though we didn't buy it, we're leasing it - despite what you may have heard, sometimes leasing IS AWESOME).

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Everyone was kind of terrible this year, no?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No comment.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Bills. Theratogs.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Sleater-Kinney. Out of towners. My birthday. The car. Star Wars. Thrift scores.

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?

Probably the Adele song. I didn't listen to enough new music this year!

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?

That's really hard to quantify. The end of 2015 was hard. But overall 2015 was pretty good.

II. Thinner or fatter?

At WW goal! Four years!

III. Richer or poorer?


18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

Driving, reading.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?


20. How will you be spending Christmas?

Probably the usual - a trip to Super H-Mart, Indian-Chinese food.

21. What, if any, insight did you gain about yourself in 2015?

That I'm NOT too old for it all.

22. Did you fall in love in 2015?

20 years!

23. How many one night stands?


24. What was your favorite TV program?

Jane the Virgin, UnReal, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Hannibal, Bojack Horseman, Orphan Black

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Hate is a really strong word, but I probably will never forgive the Mean Girl who Meangirled me on the Internet. She was a nasty piece of work, I tell you what.

26. What was the best book you read?

Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl, El Deafo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (even if I only lasted a few weeks), Station Eleven, The Royal We, Vitamania, Yes Please

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I listened to so many podcasts that I barely had time to listen to any new music. (Not on that linked list, Limetown - amazing.)

28. What did you want and get?

The Inspiralizer. A good month financially. A new car.

29. What did you want and not get?

A job. Still.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

I saw two movies in the theater this year: Inside Out and Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Both were excellent and both made me cry.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I turned 42. Had a sleepover at a friend's house. Went to a tiki bar. Ate greasy unhealthy vegetarian food. It was a good one.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Money, I suppose.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2015?

Adventurous (for me), skirts, tights, skinny jeans, boots, and attempts at eyeliner.

34. What kept you sane?

Reiki. Hanging out at night with neighbors (and wine - but the wine was secondary to the company). The occasional "running away from home" days or nights.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?


36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Love trumps hate. Gun control.

37. Who did you miss?

Friends in far away places.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

I don't like to name names.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015.

Pink hair can change your fucking life.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

See what it is. You might feel better. See what it is. You might not be afraid.

Sunday, December 6, 2015

A Story of Memory

It's funny how memory works. How something can be so clear and vivid for one person and for another who was there at the same place and time, it can fade, fuzz, or simply vanish.

When Facebook was still a new thing - a thing not everybody and their great-grandmother used to share recipes, political memes, and pictures of cats, a thing that was newly opened to everyone outside of the college email address domain - I joined up and started searching for people I remembered. At that point, not everyone was there (I suspect now that almost everyone is there, but I've changed how I use Facebook as well). But one of the names I searched for came up immediately.

She was my friend when we were about 5-8, I think. Maybe a bit younger. My own memory is out of focus, but she is clear. She lived a short while away from me and we played together often. We had the tormenting friendship of little girls. I remember so much of it because for whatever reason it made a strong impression on me. The time she couldn't come to my birthday party and then showed me the gift her mom made for me but let her keep. The time her dad helped me ride a bike. The time she and another friend ganged up on me and accused me of something impossible. The time her mom taught me paper crafting.

One day she told me she was moving. Moving to a city that is, in reality, not that far from where we lived but that seemed a million miles away. The years before the Internet, before an easy way to at least feel that you are in touch with someone simply by clicking "friend" and then occasionally glancing at a screen, when someone moved away that someone was gone forever. I imagined her in a shiny golden palace, in a giant city far away, growing and thriving. I never forgot her.

Well, apparently she forgot me.

At the time, when you made a friend request, you could also send a message at the same time (I think it may have even been mandatory - or at least hard to skip). So I did and I excitedly said something like I found you! How are you! It's me! From that hometown a million years ago! Hello!

Her reply was cold and distant. Did I know you from church? I don't really remember.

I'm Jewish....

No, I said, it's ME! Me from these adventures! ME! Your dear friend from all those years ago! Do you remember this story?

And she never replied to me again.

Memory is fuzzy, vanishes, is replaced by more important stories that happen when you move away and leave behind your childhood. My story was not her story. I had to let her go.
An experimental post that may be tweaked and updated over time.